I know I said I'd stop with the long posts, but here is another one. Sorry.
So there has been a lot of talk about people running half marathons and full marathons. Katie running in DC, Megan, Lori & my brother Scott running the one in Ogden, even my brother-in-law Zach doing a triathlon in St. George. While you think all these people over-achieving would serve to motivate me, right? Well, maybe in a way. I would like to tell you all about the marathon-of-sorts that I completed just recently. An act that I believe should be equal to that of all you runners.
The other night we were having a BBQ with some friends (Katie reminds me it was Mother's Day - I don't think she's bitter). It came to our attention that someone amongst us thought they could eat more cereal than anyone else. In fact, I'm pretty sure Kasey Aldrich threw down the gauntlet, stating nobody could out-eat him, especially pansy Noah Shafer. Soon this thing began to snowball, and got out of control. A date was set, our cereals were chosen, and strategies were outlined.
Being a connoisseur of cereal, I knew there were several routes I could take. 1 - Go with the tasty, albeit sugary cereal, like Cinnamon Toast Crunch; 2 - Go with a more fluffy, but moderately tasty cereal like Honeycombs; or 3 - Go with more of a healthy but enjoyable cereal like Honey Bunches of Oats. Being the kind of guy who often enjoys 2 bowls of cereal for breakfast, I realized that ofttimes by the end of my second bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch I am just dreading drinking the sugar-milk at the bottom of my bowl (my Grandma Nilsson never let me off the hook without drinking it - what can I say, it became a habit).
The answer was clear, if I was to put my whole heart and stomach into this competition, I couldn't choose a sugary cereal. Here are my thoughts going through the challenge:
Bowl 1 - Kasey is an idiot. He just dumped half his box of Fruity Pebbles into his ginormous bowl. Nothing worse than soggy cereal.
Bowl 2 - Why didn't we do this earlier? This is kind of fun.
Bowl 3 - People talking all around me. Can't converse, must focus.
Bowl 4 - You've got to be kidding me! Kasey just refilled his bowl with the other half of the box! I should stop now...
Bowl 5 - Noah is pretending to throw up all his Fruity Pebbles. Maybe that's a good strategy to force some of the girls out. Here I go...
Bowl 6 - I really wish my cereal didn't have dried strawberries. I can't eat much more. And how is Kasey already done with his 17 oz box???
Bowl 7 - Noah still fake-vomiting? Christy Rasmussen is now surrounding herself with boxes of cereal so she can't see Noah. I think she's going to spew.
Bowl 8 - Christy and her husband Ian are out! Ahh, they were never even in my league anyway...
Bowl 9 - I need Katie to get me another box of cereal. Must...beat...Kasey...
Bowl 10 - Only 5 more bowls to pass Kasey - He shouldn't have stopped after one box, he totally under-estimates me - maybe next time he will estimate me.
Bowl 11 - I shouldn't have figured out how many more bowls I need to eat, I think I taste something coming up...
Bowl 12 - Slowing down........
Bowl 13 - Never again.......
Bowl 14 - You've got to be kidding me, Shannon has almost finished her box of Cinnamon Toast??? Where did she come from? I can't lose to a girl!
Bowl 15 - There goes Kasey in my rear-view - sucka! No way, Shannon is still going?
Bowl 15 and a half - If worse comes to worst I will sabotage Shannon.
I'm sure that those of you who know me can guess the result of this little competition. Three trips to the bathroom before noon the next day.
Oh yes, you can also probably guess by the length of this blog, and my unearthly physique, that I did in fact win the competition. Although it wasn't until AFTER I won that I realized we never decided on a prize for the winner. At that point, I was the only one who thought there SHOULD be a prize for winning.
As a side-note, I can't look at Honey Bunches of Oats in the same way as I used to.